My alarm goes off again after being snoozed a couple of times. Time to get up and get ready for a day at work. I really could do with an extra hour under the duvet due to bad dreams waking me a couple of times in the night but I have work to do. Depending on the content of the dream sometimes I can shake it off but other days the thoughts can continue to linger throughout the day.
Before leaving the flat I need to check that all lights are off like everyone does, but I go back and check again that I haven’t left the hob on and cause a fire, that chargers are turned off at the walls, that taps are tightly screwed so I don’t flood the place.
I am walking to work and the first worry of the day pops into my head – I hope there are no nasty emails waiting in my inbox for me. Being a catastrophiser means I tend to think of the worse case scenario and in this case that means an email telling me I’ve been fired or completely cocked up somehow. Rationalising with myself calms the worry but it doesn’t disappear until I have looked through all of my emails.
I have a difficult member of the public to deal with on the phone which immediately makes me anxious. Some days I can deal with this situation but some days it can be very hard. This is a big part of my job however so I am much better at dealing with this then I used to be.
My lunch break finally! I always go out for a wander to get some fresh air and time away from my desk. I work in the centre of my hometown which is great in some regards as there are so many shops at my fingertips, however it can get busy and sometimes I get anxious about who I may bump into or see. Plugging my headphones in and listening to podcasts really helps when I wander around as your mind is focused on listening to that instead of worrying.
I sent a text to a friend on my lunch break and I haven’t heard back from them yet. I get worried that I have annoyed them in some way. The rational part of me knows they are probably busy at work but the anxious part of me is convinced I have done something wrong.
I tend to experience physical symptoms of anxiety sporadically; and at the moment I get chest pains. They last around five or ten minutes and are incredibly uncomfortable. Luckily I recognise what is happening and I manage to stay calm; deep breathing helps ease the symptoms.
My working day has come to an end and I am on my way to the gym. Recently my relationship with the gym has been a little fraught so some days I feel anxious about working out and others I don’t. I can’t really pinpoint the cause of my anxiety but I dread getting into my workout gear. I know it will make me feel better but actually getting inside the doors is hard for me right now.
I am walking home from the gym and as predicted I feel happy I worked out. I now have a boost of energy for the evening ahead which will include showering, cleaning, cooking, blogging and watching some trash TV (my guilty pleasure!)
Generally my evenings at home is when I feel at my calmest and most relaxed. Belly full of food I start to get ready for bed but every night I get anxious about not getting enough sleep so I always aim to be in bed my 22:30 at the latest. It seems silly really and I know a lot of adults go to bed a lot later than me but I am convinced that if I don’t sleep enough I will sleep through my alarm the next morning and feel dreadful and sluggish.
Reflecting on this day it has been a pretty positive one, with no sudden bolts of fear firing through my chest or heart palpitations. Days like this make it easier to keep working on my anxiety, however on tough days it can be hard to be positive about recovery. I know I need to keep fighting so I will continue to do so!
Does any of this resonate with you as an anxiety sufferer? Let me know in the comments below.