How is the new year going for you? Well I hope!
We all read about how we should be making New Years resolutions and create goals for ourselves; but how do you start believing in yourself to make these happen?
It sounds incredibly simple, however some of us find self-belief quite difficult.
That inner-dialogue we have with ourselves can be really harsh and critical, and changing the way we speak about ourselves can take time.
If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
So what can we do to help quieten our insecurities and increase our self-belief?
LET GO OF SELF DOUBT
Give yourself pep talks! Even if you need to do it daily. You are good enough to do whatever your heart desires, so chase after your dreams. Never let anyone else’s opinions or actions deter you from the life you want to live. We are only here once and you should make the most of it by doing what sparks a fire in your heart and makes you happy.
Comparison is the thief of joy – so. bloody. true. How many times do you find yourself comparing your looks/life/job/happiness to someone else’s you see on Instagram. I do this far too much and it is something I am actively trying to work on this year. Comparing yourself will never end well so we should try to stop – easier said than done, I know. Remember that you are on your own journey and everything you see online is not the full picture.
If you are being 100% true to yourself there shouldn’t be room for self-doubt. Especially in blogging or writing it can be extremely tempting to jump onto bandwagons because everyone else seems to be doing it, or to write about popular trends. However if these don;t fit in with your writing style/brand/blog is it really worth it?
When I first started my blog I found myself drafting posts that were not completely heartfelt, and I always ended up deleting them. I won’t post anything I am not proud of and believe in myself, and that also goes for working with companies.
I feel like people just know when you aren’t being authentic, so on all accounts it’s best to be yourself and stay true to you, even if that is different to what everyone else is doing.
LET GO OF NEGATIVITY
Positive thinking sounds simple yet it can be a struggle for some. I mentioned the inner-dialogue above and it really can have an impact on how we see ourselves and treat ourselves.
Thought stopping is a method used to, simply, stop negative thoughts. I use this almost daily and it has become a great coping mechanism for my anxiety. When you notice negative thoughts or images are starting to play on your mind, literally tell yourself to “stop!”
Another technique I use to monitor my negative thoughts is to allow myself small pockets of time in a day to allow myself to ‘worry’ or think negatively, and then I stop myself as above. For example, if I am at work and I feel something is worrying me or making me feel anxious, I will leave my desk and take myself somewhere quiet to dedicate one or two minutes to thinking about what’s bothering me and then I leave it there. It stops the spiral I always fall into which ends in me getting extremely overwhelmed.
BE KINDER TO YOURSELF
Celebrate all of your achievements however big or small. Got out of bed today when you felt like shit? Pat yourself on the back! You may not have changed the world but you will have done something to be proud of today, so give yourself some credit for it.
Going back to the inner-dialogue (sorry!); think about how kind you are to yourself. If you said the same things you said to yourself to a friend how would it make them feel? Probably not great. We are so used to be unkind to ourselves it has become an automatic thought process. Imagine you wake up feeling blue, you are anxious and stressed about something. Think about what you would say to a friend to comfort them, to reassure them and to make them feel better. Now trying saying these things to yourself.
Self-care is a buzzword from 2017, but it is an important part of life we should all work on doing more of. This doesn’t just mean to take a bubble bath as some would suggest; it can be anything that makes you feel good. Watch that trashy TV series you love, eat a family size bar of chocolate, go for a spa day with your mum, take the dog out for a long country walk, try out your local spin class.
WORK OUT WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW
Originally I called this section WORK OUT WHAT YOU WANT, however who really knows what they want from life? Our opinions and experiences are constantly changing and molding us as people so these things can change even day to day.
So take a look at what your life consists of right now and think about if you are on the right track to what you want. Do you have a career goal? Think about if the job you are in right now will help you get there. Do you have a blog and want to increase your audience? Think about the steps you need to take to do this. Life is like a set of stepping stones which you create yourself. It is always possible to get to where you want to be, you just need to make sure you are taking the best possible steps to get there.