What are ‘healthy boundaries’?
Boundaries are limits you set within your life in regards to people, experiences, and beliefs. Healthy boundaries safeguard your time, wellbeing and energy so you can focus on what is right for you in order to live a happy and healthy life. Having boundaries set in place means you…
- Are less likely to indulge in unhealthy habits
- Stay true to your personal values and goals
- Are more likely to avoid toxic relationships
- Are taking care of your physical and mental wellbeing
- Know what you expect from people and don’t let others manipulate you.
So how do you know when you need to set some boundaries?
YOU PUT EVERYONE ELSE FIRST ALL OF THE TIME
A lot of us are probably guilty of this, especially if you are a parent. In the past I would always put my boyfriends on a pedestal and make sure they were ok all of the time, completely forgetting about taking care of myself too. Self-care and healthy boundaries come hand in hand – you need to look after yourself in order to look after anyone else.
YOU ARE COMPLETELY BOGGED DOWN
Does saying “no” shoot fear into your heart because you don’t want to hurt someone or let others down? I am such a people pleaser and completely sympathise with you! But never saying no means that we commit ourselves to so much that we end up having no time for ourselves or what we actually want to be doing.
YOU ARE VERY HARSH ON YOURSELF
Is your inner-monologue your harshest critic? There is one person you speak to more than anyone else during your lifetime, and that is yourself. We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves!
YOU PROCRASTINATE INSTEAD OF HITTING GOALS
Do you find it tricky to make your goals a priority? Are you distracted by everything else going on around you apart from what you should be? At the end of the month, you look back and wonder how you frittered away so much time. You feel further away from achieving your goals than ever.
YOU FIND YOURSELF IN TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
This happened to my throughout my early twenties time and time again. I blamed these bad relationships on myself, however it was the fact that I didn’t have boundaries set mixed with partners who didn’t respect me that ended me up in the toxic cycle.
Ok, so some of these sound familiar to you. So what can you do to start incorporating healthy boundaries? Below are some tips I have found work for me, however do keep in mind that these take time, patience and consistency to implement. Just like good and bad habits; it can take time to replace the negative with positive:
Understand why you need a boundary
Clearly identify your boundary
Don’t apologise for setting a boundary
Always be polite and calm
Address violations of the boundary
Have a support system in place
I hope this has helped you to see if you need to implement some further boundaries in your life.